“A relationship demands not that we surrender to another person, but that we acknowledge a third soul in which the parties are mingled, and respect its unpredictable demands.”

–Thomas Moore, Soulmates

So you are joining lives! How wonderful.

This is your wedding or commitment ceremony — and I want to help make it just right for you. Weaving lives together, birthing that third soul of partnership, begins long before the ceremony itself. Part of the magic (and the work) of a wedding is learning to make decisions together, and this can make even small decision feel so symbolically important. There are many elements to be considered, and perhaps many caring people around you loaded with good advice. While it’s good to keep in mind all this great advice and good to practice making decisions on the details which serve to make the experience wonderful, all that really matters is that your ceremony authentically work for the two of you.

My job is to help you stay focused on what you need, to offer my resources and experience and facilitate your process to help you create the personal, joyful celebration you deserve.


We’ll explore options. I will ask you about yourselves, what’s important to you, your aesthetics, and the cultural influences in your lives, your spiritual approach and family concerns. I’ll put together a template for the service in response; from there we can revise until it feels right to you both.

I have officiated weddings that run from a sweet ten-minutes in the park with family, a funky, existential wedding over a museum diorama of NYC, on the beach as dolphins swam by, through simple elegant formal drawing room ceremony to elaborate ritual in a traditional church or sacred kiva. And I would love to work with you.


“Our wedding would not have been as true an expression of our authentic selves without Heather Roan Robbins. We wanted our wedding ceremony to be a very personal commitment ritual. Heather is a veritable treasure trove of spiritual, philosophical, and historical practices from around the world and has a library of readings and rituals to draw from. Through her examples, she inspired us to write very personal individualized wedding vows that we continue to refer back to, especially on our anniversary! Heather is wonderfully generous with her time and knowledge and shared each freely with us as we crafted a wedding ceremony that truly reflected who we are.”
Lorin Gold, Coach and Trainer

“Heather combines in-depth knowledge with incisive and uncanny intuition, life savvy, sensitive humor, deep understanding of people, and a silver-tongued use of vivid metaphor to provide invaluable guidance and empathetic support. She connects the seemingly unconnected and provides a viewpoint that is at once novel and unthreatening, even about the most difficult of issues. Able to provide energy and direction in the most natural way, she is clearly doing the work she should be doing.”
Ethan Schutz, President, The Schutz Company, Inc.


The range of ceremonies is vast, so put my fee in proportion to the other expenses of your service. I will consider your special circumstances and work with you on an appropriate price. Remember, 10 years from now, the details of the flowers fade and we only remember their wonderful impression–but the words and intention of the wedding ceremony itself will resonate for many years to come. Our work together is the heart of the ceremony; please consider this when you consider my fee. If you having a small, informal wedding at your house, feel free to pay modestly. If you are putting on a 400-person hour-long wedding, weaving together 5 traditions, 10 poets and need 6 revisions, think generously.

Guidelines for rates
First interview is free; make sure I am the one you chose to work with.

Simplest Wedding: approximately $150. We put together a quiet, heartfelt ceremony, perform nearby, and send you on your way with blessings.

Wedding: approximately $300 plus expenses. A planning session, 1-2 revisions, and the wedding performed at your location in Western Montana (plus mileage if out of the Missoula-Kalispell area).

Large Wedding: approximately $500. Larger scale, more complex ceremonies. Includes a planning session, a few revisions, rehearsal and the wedding performed (plus mileage or transportation if out of the Missoula-Kalispell area).

Destination wedding weekend away: $1,000 plus expenses. Includes all planning, rehearsals and spiritual support for family.